I became ashamed of myself after my last post about the happiness project. It seemed there were signs and messages around me that said happiness is serving others, happiness is fulfilling a purpose, happiness is “JOY” Jesus, Others and then Yourself. I’m not saying all those things aren’t true, I was just pointing out I really enjoyed The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin in terms of an awakening of my own gratitude and peace. My journey for my own genuine happiness translated as selfish in the eyes of some. It seemed when I thought I would have support for the blog , I had some criticisms. I think constructive criticism is helpful and I’m open minded. But I also like to think we live in a world where women are here to build women up instead of pull each other down. For all the women out there I’ve judged I am sorry. That is a 2020 goal of mine, to judge less. I was judged and did not feel good about it. This is not a revelation, but a testament of commitment to judge less and accept more. 

Are you happy? Wow, that’s a loaded question, isn’t it? Of course I’m happy. But we’ve had some hard times that made us feel like life was a big struggle. Regardless we kept our heads up, but are we really happy? 

If im being honest, I feel like on a scale of 1-10 , 10 being the happiest, I am a solid 7. 

That means there IS room to grow. 

The thing is, I should be a 10. 

I am privileged. I have a roof over my head in a cute house that has everything I need. It’s not the nicest, or the biggest, but it is mine and I am grateful for this home. However, I could be more grateful. I could take care of her better. Clean more, organize more, landscape more. I think it would be a happier home if I did these finishing touches that have been pushed to the wayside for a decade.