Panda's Press

…and other reasons to do whatever you want 

One day last December I remember standing in line at the grocery store. The typical greetings and Christmas cheer were exchanged between the cashiers and the customers as expected. Decor lined the numbers designated at each register; poinsettias, garland, holiday magazines, advent calendars, all the typical adornments were abundant. It was almost my turn at the register. The patron ahead of me said brightly to the cashier “happy holidays!” The cashier’s eyes welled up. “Not for me,” sadly she responded. My eyes widened. She said “I lost my mom at Christmas, this holiday is hard.” I was taken aback. Not the typical answer but not wrong to say. I could identify. I liked her honesty. Probably not the best place to open up to strangers, but sometimes those feelings are so overwhelming, how does one not speak their pain. The customer said he was “sorry to hear that.” We all were. The customer did not dwell. He signed for his purchase , grabbed his bag, and did not engage any longer. 

The world stops for no one. 

When I woke up from the coma I had no idea how much time had passed nor was I really aware of how I landed myself in the Cleveland Clinic ICU.The last thing I knew I had Tony take me to a Lake Health hospital. I had flu like symptoms and told them I was going to pass out. They checked my oxygen; 68%. They immediately put me on oxygen with a c-pap machine. I had cold air blowing at the back of my throat, what little breath I had was taken away from the force of the air rushing into my face. They took x-rays of my lungs. The doctor grabbed his chest and almost fell back. All he saw was pure white. I was drowning. Severe pneumonia. I wanted a drink of water. The nurse sternly said, “if you take the oxygen off your face you’re going to die!” I remember thinking, it’s just a drink of water, this woman didn’t have to be a bitch.